Erin and Joshua

When does it end?

2010-08-13T08:24:00.000-07:00

Someone recently asked me if infidelity will ever end. Why do people keep betraying their spouses, throwing their lives away? Since I work for AffairRecovery.com I see a lot of unfaithful people, a lot of hurt people. Why does it keep going? Here's what I've come up with:

I don't think it ever does stop. Not until every single person in the whole world lives in submission to Christ. Whenever we step out of that we hurt people, we hurt ourselves, we feel the emptiness and strive to fill it with invariably unhealthy actions. The threat of destruction, nauseating consequences cannot stop our desire to follow our own desires. Have you ever had a piece of chocolate cake callllll your name? or felt the draw of pornography, or even just been tempted to laugh at another's mishaps rather than feel grief over their pain? We as a society are mistaken in the belief that our nature leads us to good things. The actions we naturally take are destructive. They just are. No loss, no threat of abandonment will ever be strong enough to stop it. That is not how the universe works.

As C.S. Lewis says: "We are not merely imperfect creatures who must be improved: we are... rebels who must lay down their arms." We must surrender. We must see our depraved hearts yearning for all manner of unhealthy things from the minuscule uncaring giggle to the mighty pull of addiction. Unless we see that our hearts, our very core and heart, desires by its nature its own (and everyone else's) destruction. We will have affairs, we will cave to our addictions, we will risk the hurt every single person who crosses our path in some way.

The good news is that God IS and he loves us *fiercely*. And however bad we are, we are not irredeemable in His hands.

Suffering

2010-01-04T08:02:00.001-08:00

"Suffering comes from the abuse of free will"

The Problem of Pain ~ C.S. Lewis

Not surprisingly between my work and Joshua's, I've been returning to this quote more and more lately. Several years ago, I mentioned it to a friend who said she didn't believe it. I consider her one of the wisest people I know so her disbelief has always been hard for me to reconcile. I wonder, though, if she just misunderstood. Suffering does comes not only from our own abuse of our own free will, but far more frequently it comes to me as a result of another's abuse of their free will.

Of course there are extreme examples - thieves, drunk drivers, violent insurgents, rapists, murderers, adulterers, abusers...all causing deep suffering to so many for the sake of what they want to do or have. There are perhaps we could say the lesser offences - negligent drivers, careless insults, bitter people, who cause pain but don't even realize it.

Then there are almost unperceivable actions. Out of my free will, I decided to work from a coffee shop today. It's a luxury that most of the world can't afford even if their jobs were to allow it. Is this use of my free will causing suffering anywhere? The increase in demand for coffee from poorer nations? Is it abuse or merely use of my free will? Is it causing as Lewis recons, the types of pain that are below a certain intensity and not feared or resented at all. It's a thought to consider when we grab our morning latte, how about all the talk of greeness? What suffering will it cause if we ignore the ramifications of our actions carried out to their fullest influence? How often do we think of the full consequences of anything we do anyway?

So what of suffering? Ruminating on the cause, for me, ends with Lewis' quote. Someone somewhere or maybe many someones at many times or places abused their free will and thus pain for someone else was born. Which leads me to another favorite quote of Lewis' "It may be possible for each to think too much of his own potential glory hereafter; it is hardly possible for him to think too often or too deeply about that of his neighbour. Truly we are called to love and care after each other in a far deeper way than we can imagine and none of us can possibly be up to the challenge on our own strength. Thus the mercy of God steps in whispering the actions of love whenever we are humble enough to accept it and yield our actions to in the benefit of another. Only then we can hope to approach the greater love that is to lay one's life down.

2009-12-22T13:46:00.000-08:00

Well it has been some time since my last writing and I have truly meant to be on here more but as we all know, things happen. I have now been married for 290 days and am learning more of this life each day. It has its ups and downs, but it is for sure worth all that i have learned through it! God has truly put truth to the words of Erin's bosses words "Marriage is Gods primary people building tool". One of the light hearted things that I am learning in this Advent season is the value of the Advent calendar. It has long been a tradition of Erin and her family to have this calendar and grow the excitement about this wonderful season. I am trying so hard into this tradition and I feel that over the next couple of years that this will grow on me. I have included some pictures of this event as proof. Until next time!

Trying to understand Money and how not to live for it

2009-09-28T05:26:00.000-07:00

Over the past few weeks I have really been thinknig and it seems that I exist to make money and pay bills. This is a truth that disheartens me more and more each day and has so impacted me that God himself has stepped in to work through the issue with me.

Sitting in church yesterday, Alex the associate pastor, i was listening to the sermon and at the end Alex initiated a time of reflection. In this time of reflection he read off thoughts and scripture to give us a bit of guided meditation on scripture. It was in this time that I was presented with the though "how do I live in the world and not be of it?".

This question is one that can be quite easy or in some cases hard.

Jesus is the prime example of all Godly living and shows us his life through scriptures. In the scriptures it shows us that for three years of ministry that Jesus didn't work outside of the lectures, healings, and various other miracles he performed. In these efforts he worked sometimes without sleep or food, but he continued.

How can I live like this?

Kerry's pics

2009-06-06T16:26:00.002-07:00

Shelley's Pics

2009-06-06T16:26:00.001-07:00

Finally pictures :-)

2009-05-18T11:23:00.000-07:00

The Best Groom

A very content bride

equals...
The Perfect Day

Formal Pictures

Preparations

Note: not all photos in the albums are by Abigail Smith. We've thrown in other's snapshots too.

Ceremony

Reception

Note: not all photos in the albums are by Abigail Smith. We've thrown in other's snapshots too.

Married Life after 24 days.....

2009-03-31T22:54:00.000-07:00

Well what can one really say after only 24 days............

The other day I was asked if I felt any different after getting married, my response, no.
Why is it that my life has not become somehow different? The reason I believe has a lot to do with the person that I married, the way we approached courting, and the way that we viewed marriage.

From the beginning we said that we would not be together for the sake of being together, but it would be to fulfill God's desire for our lives. God, without a doubt, wants now and back then for Erin and I to be together. So what does this mean..... Being married to Erin is the same as not being married to her, living life as God desires.

I finish this note with this: I love my God with all that I am and everyday I hope to express that through every act in my marriage with Erin.

Honeymoon Pictures

2009-03-15T19:08:00.001-07:00

Don't worry...nothing too racy ;-)

Wedding!

2009-03-15T19:04:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness! The wedding was perfect! The weather cooperated. We were so excited to see everyone who came. But a little sad there wasn't more time to spend with them. Everything went off without a hitch -Music, cake, pictures, no wardrobe malfunctions :-) Perfect perfect perfect. Pictures will be RIGHT here. For you! Just as soon as I get them :-)

LOVE YOU ALL!!

Vendors

2009-03-10T16:16:00.000-07:00

We know several other couples who will be married soon so we've decided to list our vendors in case anyone needs a recommendation. Everyone was great and, I think, reasonable. I've added a couple places we used for supplies too.

Invitations & Napkins:
Art Trends Inc, Oklahoma City
(405) 236-1862

Cake:
Mishelle Handy in Edmond
www.MishelleHandyCakes.com
www.CakePlease.com

Photography:

Abigail Smith Photography

www.AbigailSmithPhotography.com

Coffee bar catering:

Cafe Evoke

www.CafeEvoke.com

Flowers:

Beautiful Bouquets Flower Shop

www.bbflowershop.com

Favors and Decorations:

Stickers:
Zazzle.com

Ribbon, candles, tulle:
Hobby Lobby

Julia is coming!!

2009-02-04T09:38:00.000-08:00

Waaaaaay back when I lived in Russia, I told Julia that if I ever get married, I want her to be a bridesmaid in my wedding. Some of you may remember me telling you about a friend in Russia who'd dreamed of coming to my wedding before I told anyone that I'd even met Joshua even as a friend or passing comment. Her dream is even more significant because it can be hard for Russians to get a Visa to visit the US. So, if Julia were ever to come to visit it would have to be not just for my wedding, but to be in it.

Well, we got the news just recently that she GOT HER VISA! So, she'll be spending about 2 weeks in the States and she'll be one of my three precious bridesmaids.

Wedding Shower!

2009-01-27T21:00:00.000-08:00

First let me declare a BIG THANK YOU!!! To the Super SHELLEY - for organizing everything; to the Awesome ELESHIA, for helping everywhere needed, and to the Irreplaceable KIM. Thanks also to everyone who brought something yummy to the shower. You all are so wonderful and such a sweet blessing to us. It was all delicious!

I know lots of folks too pictures. Shelley got me hers first, so send me more and I'll add them. Check back for more pics!

Hotel info

2009-01-27T18:28:00.000-08:00

Embassy Suites: Will Rodgers Airport
1815 South Meridian

To reserve via phone:(405) 682-6000
Mention the "Chambers Wedding Party" for the group rate.

To reserve via the web: Embassy Suites site
Group/Convention code: CWP

Be sure to book BEFORE FEBRUARY 22
After February 22, they may book the rooms for other people or the group rate may not be available.

About the hotel
The hotel is about 4 miles from Will Rogers Airport but 17 miles from the wedding site. See directions. There is some crazy conference that has all the rooms anywhere near the wedding site, but at least it's near the airport :-)

Most of the rooms are suites with a king size bed and a sleeper sofa in the living room. They have refrigerators and microwaves, high-speed internet, free breakfast, and free snacks in the evening. They have an indoor pool and we may be able to get a meeting room so that you all can visit on Saturday night while Joshua and I head off to the honeymoon ;-) More on that later...the meeting room, not the honeymoon. :-p

Take a peek at the hotel yourself: Embassy Suites OKC

Directions to the Wedding

2009-01-26T09:27:00.000-08:00

So basically, I LOVE google maps. You can loock at the house where we're going to have the wedding as if you were standing right there and you can see the little clearing behind it where we're going to do the reception. It is A-W-E-S-O-M-E.

So here is the place:

View Larger Map

Here are directions
From the hotel: (see info about the hotel)
From Norman:
From Oklahoma City (downtown):
From Tulsa:
and from Dallas:

Surely one of those will be close to you, if not, plug in your address and google will whip up a map just for you :-)

PARKINGParking will be limited. We suggest carpooling if possible. Parking will be parallel along Noma Road, Lois Lane (to the west only), and Coburn Road. If the ground is dry, park with two tires in the grass, two on the asphalt. If wet, park with all four tires on asphalt.

View Larger Map

THE MOST AMAZING BESTESS FRIEND EVER

2009-01-24T20:42:00.000-08:00

Kim. What can be said about her... from the very beginning of Erin and I Kim was there. It had been less than two weeks that I had known Erin and Kim came to Hastings to meet her and give her the quiz to end all quiz's. This was the question and answer time that brought Kim to the 85% that this would be the girl I marry. Kim said she hadn't finished her quiz, even now it is unfinished, she was confident about the relationship to be. Kim has been a constant supporter of us from giving words of wisdom to whatever else she could help with. She is my great protector, has been my great proposal coordinator, engagement photographer, and anything else you can imagine.Thanks Kim for all you do and we hope we can pass on the love you have blessed us with!

Reflection of my Spiritual Welfare

2009-01-19T12:09:00.000-08:00

Joshua, an apostle of Christ Jesus,

To my friends and family in the world where we are Alien. May God bless and keep you safe as he has done for me throughout my life.

I write this letter for the sole purpose of evaluating where I am in my pursuit of faith in Christ and to allow all in to see. This letter is composed from the wonderful place in which I met my future bride at as well as many other friends, Hastings.

Looking at my spiritual welfare through mine own eyes I have been discouraged in the past because the worst critic I have is me, but this idea came to me through the urging of the spirit and in that light I will look and trust his eyes. It has occurred to me in the past year of my life that the life I lead lines up with that of Christ's expectations less than I would like. An example of this happened just today when out of frustration I was not slow to anger with a person close to me and in turn was not acting through the love of Christ Jesus. I ask myself about this incident and others like it to find the root of my walk because they are frequent. The conclusion I have reached is that I am not spending enough time with the Father to maintain an adequate relationship with him. After coming to this conclusion, the next step was to set aside time to spend with just him and time to spend with a group of guys to discuss God and the matters that are important to him.

I am often annoyed, frustrated, angered, weary, and quick to speak. These things not being of Christ brought me to the thought that my walk is not right. Listening to those around me though has brought about other things I can be; thoughtful, caring, patient, compassionate. Of recent, God has made it a point to encourage me with the insight of others to show me that it is not that I am not of him as my thoughts would imply, but that I am just off course a bit. I have not been in his Word or prayed or spent time in fellowship with other believers as much as I would have liked to. I let the fact that all of my friends have lives and my church that I attend get me down to think that meeting was not possible. For this I am asking forgiveness of God and others by whom this letter is read.

For accountability purpose, I am attending a group on Wednesday at 6:30 am at church and plan to have lunch or coffee with at least one friend a week. Also, I plan to read and/or meditate on scripture that I have read recently on a daily basis.

To finish this note, I have one positive thing that I thought of just now. I love to serve those around me in any way that God has given me the opportunity to. This is something that even in my stupidity Christ has continued to use me as a vessel through which He might impact the world.

Registries

2009-01-02T00:31:00.000-08:00

After lots of hard work and thinking, we've finally got the registries sorted out. No doubt we'll still add and subtract a few things as we go "hey, one of those would be nice!" but for the most part we're done!

So, we're registered at:

Target and
Bed, Bath, and Beyond

Some other ideas are

Hastings gift cards (where we met and Joshua proposed. We still hang out there a lot.)

Some of your favorite coffee beans

A homemade but frozen dinner for us on the honeymoon (in a mountain cabin)

A pull-down attic ladder (Target and BBB don't sell them :-/ but Home Depot does.)

Star Wars IV, V, and VI and Star Wars I, II, and III on DVD (all we have are VHS, yes, we know we're old school)

Season 8 of Red Dwarf

Something meaningful from you!

Finally, gifts are a blessing but not a requirement. The best blessing is your love and friendship toward us. So please don't feel at all required. Most of all, we're looking forward to sharing with you this wonderful moment as we begin our lives together.

The Road we Travel....

2008-12-19T12:31:00.000-08:00

Over the past week or so I have been processing my past dating relationships and the current one that God has so blessed. I have often felt that I as well as our culture in America have open the box to finding love way to early. If I could go back and prevent myself from dating and just hung out with any and all without strings attach, I would. It is not that I did not care about those girls that I dated or that I am bitter about break-ups, it's about preparation. I am damaged goods. I come from an unbalanced and now broken home life to which a person must come to terms with before seeking out a partner to live life with. I, as many other children of these homes, need to heal the wounds within before we hurt those we will care most about. We must also come to the conclusion that starting a family will not replace the one that we did not have. Lastly, and throughout this time, one must come to terms with who God is to them. I have often prayed that God might bring to me the marriage he would have for me and wondered why he waited, all of this is why! I now have met this woman, Erin, and appreciate that I am a stronger more prepared man. To all that I dated prior, some of them are my dear friends and would have been even more dear had I not decided to date them in my wretched state.

I finish this note with the hope that in the future I and others will protect our children from engaging in the pursuit of love before it's time.

Wedding Party - Groomsmen

2008-12-08T17:08:00.001-08:00

Best Man - Sam Lingle

Sam and I have been best friends for quite a few years. We have known each other since elementary and spent our childhoods hanging out in the neighborhood playing sports. There were many times back then with him that us kids in had to pull him and Chris Williams apart. These times ended temporarily due to the passing of his father and Grandma which then required him to move to his mother's. We were reunited in high school on the wrestling mat. Also he came to Immanuel Baptist Church where I had been attending and served as the assistant youth pastor during his senior year. Since that time at Immanuel we have not separated and a couple of years ago Sam honored me when he asked me to officiate his wedding with his wonderful bride Kim. There is no better a friend than Sam (and Kim, whom I acquired as a best friend when the two married).

Groomsman - Mark Barry

Mark was the first best friend that I ever had. He and I as young boys were inseparable until the divorce of our parents. It was a few years before he and I would began to hang out together due to geographical barriers. Even when I moved back into the neighborhood it was difficult for our friendship to be fully restore with us having different friends and interests. It was about five years ago that we became roommates and due to some choices he had made we parted ways not to long after until he changed some things in his life. Since that he has been my best friend and roommate. When choosing a best man he was the choice due to the struggle between three, but he stated that he picked Sam to be my best man instead of him. He has been my number one supporter in everything God has called me to do, even to the point that he relocated to Tulsa with me just because I needed help financially paying for school, rent, and any other thing. I can't replace him in my heart with any other and have always struggle with the idea of letting him go. Soon I am to be married and he once again proved true, he helps me in making decisions big and small and the only thing that changes in our relationship is geography, but this time it will no come between us.

Groomsman - Doug Williams

Doug and I met at the end of my eight grade year at Falls creek where we really struck up a friendship. That week we talked a lot and there were many nights lying in the dorms when he couldn't sleep he would walk on the ceiling. After camp him and I did't speak much until we saw each other in wrestling practice after school started for my freshmen year. Doug and I have spent many days and nights discusing life, love, and faith since those first days at camp that year. He has always been a huge encourager and support in my life. Doug is a man among men and is one of the greatest friends that anyone could ask for and with out God placing him in my life I don't know that I would be the same.

Final Note

The decision to choose just one best man in my wedding was an impossible one to make and in my heart all three are it. I choose Sam because, as I already stated, Mark choose him. I love each of the three as if the were all my brothers and am blessed that they are in my life at all.

Wedding Party - Maids

2008-12-06T22:33:00.001-08:00

Now that we've talked to everyone, we can introduce them to you:

The Matron of Honor - Shelley Chambers Lowe

Shelley is an AMAZING sister. Plus she was recently a bride and she's already been an invaluable treasure of advice and good counsel for me. She has imminently good judgement, always. So when I spotted good qualities in Joshua that I had seen in Paul (her husband), I knew I couldn't go wrong. She is always supportive, but never afraid to gently question. She is ever-available for aid and rescue such as bringing my my spare keys or other uniquely Erin-esqe emergencies. She is a gem and I'm delighted that she agreed to be my Matron of Honor.

Bridesmaid - Yulia Chuiko (Юлия Чуйко)

Could I have made it a year and a half in Tobolsk without Yulia? I THINK NOT! She was (and is!) such an awesome source of support and Godly comfort. I can't even think of getting MARRIED without her nearby to share the joy and weight of this special day.

Yulia and I went to church together in Tobolsk, Siberia, Russia. She was the church secretary and one of few single women my age. She also lived just a short walk away from my house. As we began to get to know each other, we found that despite growing up in different countries and in different family circumstances, we had much the same hopes, dreams, frustrations, and perspectives on many things in life. So many of my own strengths and weaknesses, I see in her so if ever, anywhere in the world, I could find a "kindred spirit" as Anne of Green Gables would say, then it is Yulia. She is truly my dearest and closest friend in the whole world.

Bridesmaid - Eleshia Butler

Sweet Eleshia! I can remember meeting Eleshia and thinking WOW! She's just a really amazing woman. Like Shelley, she has that rare ability to be wholly supportive, yet delicately call me out when I get out of line. She's a blessed source of true honesty and has a refreshing ability to fully delight in other's joy. She has reveled in hearing about Joshua and I and has been one of my best sources of excellent marriage insight. Her heart for the nations is touching and her love of God is deep and honest. She is truly a treasure to me.

Extraordinary Aide - Caitlin Chambers

Caitlin has graciously agreed to fulfill a plethora of roles. She'll be greeting guests, directing traffic, guestbook attending, helping with a bazillion little last minute things I have no doubt. She's the most laid-back easy-going person that I know and I'm certain that she'll be in top form entertaining everyone during any lull in the action before or after the ceremony. She's talented and gregarious and most of all eager to help and be around people.

Registering

2008-12-06T18:01:00.000-08:00

So registering. You go to Target, you sign up, they give you a cool scanner gun and you walk around the store, aim your gun, fire, and viola. You've got stuff on your register. It's lots of fun, if sort of annoying because there's just so much stuff and so so so many choices and departments and styles. It's gonna take for ever and ultimately we decided to do a lot online. But heeeeeeere's the funny part....

so you're walking around Target, aiming your little gun and any cool stuff you like and a customer says, "hey, do you know where the folding tables are?" and you feel helpful and are about to answer but then you reeeeealize that they think you are a TARGET employee because you have a scanner gun. Nevermind that there's no nametag, no Target logo on your green sweater (or my pink tshirt), no bright red shirt, no khakis. It's that scanner gun, surely, that's a target employee.

Now this was darn amusing when about 3-4 people had asked us about kids toys, the above mentioend table, where the DVDs are, etc. But these folks PALED in comparison to the fresh faced young EMPLOYEE who stopped to ask "Hey, hey, do "we" carry....". So we told him, as we had all the CUSTOMERS that, yeah, the scanner gun means registering, the BRIGHT RED SHIRT, (like yours) that means EMPLOYEE.

So bless his heart, we pointed his bewildered little self toward the aisles a few rows over where there really were some Target employees and I'm sure he found out whether "we" carry whatever it was.

Dress Shopping

2008-11-24T15:45:00.000-08:00

Dress Shopping is frustrating. I don't recommend it. Joshua says we can all just go naked, but I keep telling him that, I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who will want to see him in the buff on that day. Assuming he doesn't get his way on this one, you can thank me at the wedding.

So, progress is being made, though. I think the Bridesmaid dresses will be a beautiful deep purple and mine, obviously will be white. Looking a simple a-line satin styles. Shelley and Caitlin and I are going to make one more pass at the shoppes tomorrow.

More Corpus Pictures

2008-11-15T18:07:00.001-08:00

oops! I found some more Corpus Christi pictures on my phone. I think this is all of them now. really.

Corpus Christi!!

2008-11-10T09:17:00.000-08:00

Sooooo we went on vacation with Mom and Dad and Caitlin and it was delightful!

Friday we met my Aunt and Uncle and chilled out after the long drive.
Saturday, Joshua and I watched the sunrise on the beach, went fishing with Dad and Uncle Jim then the whole family went to the museum to see it and the Columbus Ships - replicas of the Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria in which Christopher Columbus sailed to find the New World.
Sunday, Caitlin, Joshua and I played in the surf for a lonnnnng time and had an absolute BLAST body surfing. Lost my cute sandals, but it was worth it!
Monday we toured the Aircraft Carrier - USS Lexington, the Lady Lex, the elusive Blue Ghost. The longest serving Aircraft Carrier in US history! it's an awesome tour.
Tuesday Joshua and I went back to the beach but it was too cold to swim. We sunbathed but my beautiful tan lasted only 1 day.
Wednesday- I worked most of the day then we headed downtown to the marina to watch the sailboat regatta, we kinda missed the regatta but Caitlin and I saw a SEA TURTLE!! it's a rare sight so we were pretty excited.
Thursday - Beach plans foiled by clouds :-( but we got to leave early for Houston and spend more time with Grandma and Grandpa.
Friday - Had dinner with Uncle Boyd and mom and I worked quite late on a family project for Aunt Cheryl.
Saturday - lunch with grandpa and home again home again jiggity jog.

It was a fun trip although somewhat tiring because of the drive.We had AWESOME weather and spent lots of time with Mom, Dad, and Caitlin which was good so that they could get to know my Prince better.