Reflection of my Spiritual Welfare

Joshua, an apostle of Christ Jesus,

To my friends and family in the world where we are Alien. May God bless and keep you safe as he has done for me throughout my life.

I write this letter for the sole purpose of evaluating where I am in my pursuit of faith in Christ and to allow all in to see. This letter is composed from the wonderful place in which I met my future bride at as well as many other friends, Hastings.

Looking at my spiritual welfare through mine own eyes I have been discouraged in the past because the worst critic I have is me, but this idea came to me through the urging of the spirit and in that light I will look and trust his eyes. It has occurred to me in the past year of my life that the life I lead lines up with that of Christ's expectations less than I would like. An example of this happened just today when out of frustration I was not slow to anger with a person close to me and in turn was not acting through the love of Christ Jesus. I ask myself about this incident and others like it to find the root of my walk because they are frequent. The conclusion I have reached is that I am not spending enough time with the Father to maintain an adequate relationship with him. After coming to this conclusion, the next step was to set aside time to spend with just him and time to spend with a group of guys to discuss God and the matters that are important to him.

I am often annoyed, frustrated, angered, weary, and quick to speak. These things not being of Christ brought me to the thought that my walk is not right. Listening to those around me though has brought about other things I can be; thoughtful, caring, patient, compassionate. Of recent, God has made it a point to encourage me with the insight of others to show me that it is not that I am not of him as my thoughts would imply, but that I am just off course a bit. I have not been in his Word or prayed or spent time in fellowship with other believers as much as I would have liked to. I let the fact that all of my friends have lives and my church that I attend get me down to think that meeting was not possible. For this I am asking forgiveness of God and others by whom this letter is read.

For accountability purpose, I am attending a group on Wednesday at 6:30 am at church and plan to have lunch or coffee with at least one friend a week. Also, I plan to read and/or meditate on scripture that I have read recently on a daily basis.

To finish this note, I have one positive thing that I thought of just now. I love to serve those around me in any way that God has given me the opportunity to. This is something that even in my stupidity Christ has continued to use me as a vessel through which He might impact the world.